Good Reads

In the last year, I have learned and grown so much, despite the beating I endured, the divorce, finding a new place, a new job, and a new life.  I was exhausted, restless, and emotionally spent, to say the least.  The only way I found peace was allowing God in my life, and letting my faith prevail.
The following books really helped me through my tough times, and I highly recommend them:

"Lord, Heal my Hurts"  - Kay Arthur
"Lord, I Need Grace to Make it"- Kay Arthur

"Fearless"- Max Lucado

"Stripped"- Jud Wilhite

Share Your Domestic Violence Story

If you or someone you love, has been affected by domestic violence, please share/post your story!  You can remain anonymous.  I have found that simply sharing my story has connected me to so many women who experienced and survived domestic violence;and many of these women who are now my dear friends. 

Domestic Violence: Why Batterers batter?

I often wonder this same question, how can someone love me, then beat me?  I will never truly understand the mind of a batterer.  I will never understand why I had to flee my home with my son, black eye in tow, bruised arms shoulder to wrist, and bruises on my neck from an attempted strangulation.  To further understand, is to first understand domestic violence, and why it happens.  I have come to understand that it is a way to assert power and control, by using threats and coercion, and often ending in disturbing violence, as it happened to me.  The following sites can shed some light, both truthful, but disturbing facts of domestic violence, and the acts and mind of a batterer.
aardvarc.org/dv/batterer.shtml
divorcerecovery101.com
alcoholism.about.com
psychologytoday.com

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic Violence- A pattern of coercive behaviors aimed at gaining power and control over the behavior of the victim/intimate partner.
www.dvrc-or.org

Domestic violence
Classification and external resources
An illustration from JJ Grandville's Les cent proverbes captioned "Qui aime bien châtie bien" (Who loves well, punishes well), showing a man spanking a child, and another beating his wife.
eMedicine	article/805546
MeSH	D017579

Domestic violence, also known as domestic abuse, spousal abuse, family violence, and intimate partner violence (IPV), can be broadly defined as a pattern of abusive behaviors by one or both partners in an intimate relationship such as marriage, dating, family, friends or cohabitation.^[1] Domestic violence has many forms including physical aggression (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects), or threats thereof; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive/covert abuse (e.g., neglect); and economic deprivation.^[1] Alcohol consumption^[2] and mental illness^[3] can be co-morbid with abuse, and present additional challenges when present alongside patterns of abuse.
www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence

Domestic Violence Statistics:

• Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.

• Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family.

• Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than care accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.

• Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.

• Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup.

• Everyday in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.

• Ninety-two percent of women surveyed listed reducing domestic violence and sexual assault as their top concern.

• Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.

• Based on reports from 10 countries, between 55 percent and 95 percent of women who had been physically abused by their partners had never contacted non-governmental organizations, shelters, or the police for help.

• The cots of intimate partner violence in the US alone exceed $5.8 billion per year: $4.1 billion are for direct medical and health care services, while productivity losses acount for nearly $1.8 billion.

• Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.

The above stats are found at:
www.domesticviolencestatistics.org